


The Window to the Soul

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 20:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is dead, but how will he cope with Castiel's explanation about his departure, and will he ever tell Cas his true feelings?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Window to the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> so this is the first ever Destiel fic I've ever written, and I just really hope you guys like it.  
> I wanted to write this because it popped up in my head and it was just adorable, I hope I made it sound as adorable as it was in my head.

The last thing Dean remembered was shouting Cas’s name, and then everything went black.

He was conscious, he was sure he felt his body, but all he could see was darkness. No matter where he turned, everything was pit black. It was like he was sinking into water, pressure was placed all over his body, and he was sure he felt hands caressing him, every part of him, leaving nothing untouched. It was a strange feeling, but it left a sensation on his skin, that he could not get rid of.  
‘CAS!’ he shouted, but there was no answer, no echo, nothing. He wanted his angel, the man who always was there to save his ass when he got in too deep. Where the hell was he now?  
Then, out of nowhere, a bright yellow light appeared in front of him, and he fell out of consciousness.  
‘Dean?’ a raspy voice echoed in his head, and he struggled to open his eyes. ‘Dean!’ the voice was louder, and it was as if it sang through his ears.  
Dean could finally open his eyes, and before him something overwhelming met him. A bright light, sharper than anything he had ever looked upon before. It took him a while to adjust to the light, but he started to notice something beyond it. It was very big, compared to him, and he wasn't sure if he should be scared or not.

As the figure of light dimmed, Dean’s eyes widened as he saw Castiel beyond it, his eyes flickering, and a calming smile on his face. Behind him, a massive pair of wings spread out, dark as the night. Dean had never seen Cas’s wings before, he had a few feathers from angel wings, that just happened to have the same dark brown colour as Cas’s.  
‘Cas?’ he said in awe, as he looked upon the angels face, it was glowing, and there was something godly about his features. He was still the same Cas, nothing about him was different, but at the same time, everything had changed.  
‘Hello Dean,’ Cas’s said, his voice sounding just as usual, raspy and deep, but there was also something different about it. It sounded like music, like someone was singing as he spoke. Even though Cas was speaking in a regular tone, his voice left a sound ringing in Dean’s ears.  
It was then that Dean realized he was being carried, as he was looking up at Cas. He couldn't move, not much at least, he could sway to his side slightly, but that was all.  
‘It’s no use squirming Dean, you won’t get anywhere,’ Cas just said, looking straight forward.

‘Damnit Cas, what’s going on?’ Dean asked. He wasn’t sure what he should make of this.  
Cas stopped, and sighed. He looked down at Dean, breathing in deeply before answering. ‘Dean, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop them-‘

‘What are you talking about Cas?!’ Dean yelled, he was getting impatient, and the angel was being cryptic.

‘Dean,’ Cas said with sorrow in his voice. ‘You are dead.’

‘WHAT?’ Dean wanted to move. He squirmed, but nothing helped.

‘Dean, will you please settle down?’ Cas said, ‘I will explain everything, just be still. You’ll hurt yourself if you keep moving.’

‘Alright,’ Dean stopped moving, and waited for Cas’s explanation. Dead? He couldn’t be dead, he was still young, and how could Cas let that happen?  
‘We- ‘ Cas started, ‘we were on a mission, eliminating a nest of vampires, we were going grab a bite to eat afterwards, but we never got that far.’

Dean tried to remember what had happened, but he couldn't.

‘As soon as we entered the nest, we were grabbed, and you were attacked. I fought off the vampires that grabbed me, but I didn’t make it to you in time, and you were already dead when I reached you.’

‘What the hell Cas, you could easily have stopped them!’ Dean was angry. He felt as if he was betrayed. Cas always had his back. He was an angel, and then he got overpowered so easily?

‘Your reaper was already there when I was by your side. I begged him to give you back, but-‘ Cas’s voice broke. He sounded so guilty, and it looked like he was going to cry. ‘But he denied me. The only thing I could do was follow your reaper to your judgment.’

‘And??’

‘The court thought long and hard over where to place you, but finally they agreed, as they took you saving the world into consideration. I was allowed to bring you home, and here we are.’

‘So I got into heaven with all the dick angels?’

‘Yes,’ Cas answered simply. He tried to hide it, but Dean saw that Cas was hurt by what he had said.

Cas walked in silence for a while, and Dean never took his eyes of the angel.  
There was one thing he still didn’t know, why the hell he couldn’t move, and why Cas seemed so big in comparison to him.

He was about to ask, when Cas said; ‘The thing is, Dean, your body doesn’t follow you upstairs. Right now, you are only a soul, and you can’t really move on your own.’ He sat down. 'the most you can do is wiggle a bit, but that's not important.'

‘So right now, you are looking at my very core?’ Dean laughed, and wondered what he looked like. This all sounded like a joke.

‘Yes, pretty much.’ Cas laughed with Dean, but it seemed a little forced.

‘So, what does my soul look like? Is it all black and hideous, like I imagine?’ Dean asked. He just wanted to get back to earth. Sammy would find a way to get him out. There was always a way out.  
‘No,’ Cas answered. ‘Do you really think so low of yourself, Dean Winchester, that you think you are hideous, even in your soul?’

Dean didn’t expect Cas to say that. He sounded sad when he said it. Dean wanted to say something, but he couldn’t reply. He just didn’t think much of himself. Never had a reason to.

‘You are wrong!’ Cas said sternly. He raised Dean close up to his face, so Dean saw straight into his inhumanly deep blue eyes, and he felt all strange inside.

‘Well if you’re such an expert Cas, why don’t you tell me what I am?’ Dean hissed, trying to focus, not to get lost in Cas’s eyes. Was it possible for him to still have these feelings?  
Heaven was supposed to be the place where none of your pains would follow, and this was one of the worst. Having to look at Cas, and feel his heart ache, knowing that the feeling would never be returned.  
‘When I look at you, I see light.’ Cas closed his eyes. ‘Your soul is soft, warm, fluttering. Like a child you are scared. You feel pain, and you don’t know how to talk about any of it.’

Dean swallowed hard. He could tell all that from the way his soul fluttered?

Cas looked back at him, and tilted his head as he spoke. ‘Your soul is a bright little light, yellow with a deep, golden green center. It tells you how to act, it’s your programming, and you are pure, and perfect in every way.’ Cas stood up and started walking. ‘To most, you’ll just be Dean, but I can see you, Dean Winchester, you are so much more than that, and I have to tell you now, while I still can, that you are beautiful.’ He said the words without hesitation, but his voice was filled with love.  
Dean felt his heart beat faster, and it felt like his cheeks were burning, but he didn’t have any cheeks, as he was only a soul, and he was happy about that.  
What Dean didn’t know what that Cas could just as easily see that Dean became flustered, because after Cas spoke those words, the small flame in his hands started flickering.  
As they were walking, Dean tried moving once more, and he grunted loudly as he tried. Cas just laughed at him, a silent laugh, like a breath through the nose, but he was grinning.

‘What the hell are you laughing at?’ Dean said, continuing to move.

‘It is amusing to see a small soul wag back and forth trying to move,’ Cas said, chuckling under his breath.

‘Just shut up,’ Dean said and stopped moving.  
‘Here we are,’ Cas said, as if he was avoiding anything about what they just had spoken of. ‘Your personal heaven.’

Cas was about to put Dean down onto the ground, to let him roam his own heaven, but he stopped and raised the small flame back up to his face, ‘Dean, I realize you probably won’t want to see me after this, and I completely respect that, but can I just try one thing, as this is the last time I see you?’  
Dean’s heart was pounding, he wouldn’t see Cas again? His angel?

He didn’t respond, he was too scared of what it was Cas was going to do. Cas took the silence as an agreement, and without a word he slowly brought the small flame up to his lips and kissed him.  
To Cas, kissing the small flame was warm, nearly burning, but fire didn’t bother him.  
To Dean on the other hand, he was being kissed by an angelic being, a force strong enough to shatter anything in his way, but the way he was kissing was gentle and sweet, and insecure about how to do it.  
Dean felt how an electric power surged through him, and in that moment, his soul manifested and became his human body. He immediately put his arms around his angel, and held him tight. Their lips were still sealed.  
Dean ended the kiss and looked into Cas’s eyes.  
‘Cas…’ he whispered. ‘This wouldn’t be heaven for me if you weren't in it. I’d rather spend an eternity in hell, than live here forever without you!’ Dean’s grip on Cas tightened, and his hands were shaking. He finally said it. After all that time, he managed to let the words come out of his mouth that he had wanted to say to Cas. 'And I mean it Cas! Hell, I may say some stupid shit, but the truth is... I need you.'  
‘If you wish for me to stay, I’ll be here with you forever,’ Cas said with a little content smile.

‘Sounds like a plan!’ Dean said happily, and kissed the angel on the lips. He smiled against Cas's lips. For the first time in a long time, Dean felt really happy.   
Happiness was Cas's lips against his own. His lips were soft and tasted sweet, and he could feel that same rush passing through his veins once more, as if an electrical storm was buzzing inside him, and Cas's mild stubble tickled Deans face.

Dean’s heaven was complete; It was a wonderful old house just by a forest, his Impala was standing in front of the house, and there was a dog sleeping by the front door.  
The sun was shining and a soft breeze was blowing, the grass and the leaves on the trees were rustling in the wind, and the angel and the hunter walked together, hand in hand, into their new life.

As for Sam, Cas spoke to him and told him that for once, he didn’t have to go out on a limb to get his brother back, and he could get a normal life.

One day, Sam would join Dean and Cas, but until then, they had a lot of time to spend on each other.


End file.
